Comments, Links and Suffolk Strangler

I have changed the settings it is easier to comment and you are most welcome to post anything you wish about any of my entries and the subjects discussed. Whilst being at home I have been working very hard to transfer all of my traffic to land here, but I guess I will do what I have done in the past and write frequently about issues that matter and hope that readers find me here. I don't know why I want a large audience, in almost all of my past blogs this has become a problem with both family and work collegues casually mentioning that they read it - which I equate to looking into my handbag ( as in - oh I wonder if they were disgusted to find I am not a prissy girl, I have lipstick smudges everywhere, a pair of clean knickers and a lot of pennies and a lot of pieces of paper) Part of me has always regretted not having a central place from the start, it would be a lot easier but then again, I'm a woman - I'm entitled to change my mind.

I notice that when people link to my work, it almost certainly goes under some kind of obtuse catergory. I'm not exactly a sex worker and I'm not a junky either. Sometimes I am just a girl with normal concerns and other times I'm strange, loud and defiant. But I have experience in both. I'm not your fuck the establishment feminist or bleeding heart liberal either. I frequently commit crimes against english grammar and spelling can sometimes be a challenge. But I am going to really try and make a go of this blog, I have so much to say and I need a central place to say it. Go ahead and judge if you will.

I posted two days ago about The Suffolk strangler. I have never felt so helpless and I spent a good hour passionately debating my involvement in the issue with The Boy. I have felt that perhaps this is not co-oincidence that I was advising on this case long before it became plastered all over London Lite and every other paper I see on the tube. I ache for the death of these girls, I am haunted by the possibilty that someone could have helped them. Practical help. Like a name of a doctor who would prescribe methodone or indeed heroin itself.

I realise now after watching the BBC that perhaps there is drug counsellors on the scene that are helping the girls and discussing the options for them. I wonder if these counsellors have themselves been addicted to heroin and also faced working on the street, I certainly hope so but I doubt it. I don't know if they are going to catch him and I don't know how long this will stay in the media's attention. Even if one good thing has been achieved by the tragic loss of life, it will be that the legalisation of prostitution and drug therapy has been thrust into the public eye.
Yesterday, Tony Blair warned against making any knee jerk reactions based upon what is happening but alluded to a possible reform of ideas. This will take a long time and is no good to the women who will return to the street, over the next few weeks once the cameras have gone.

Heroin addiction speaks louder than common sense. Even if you locked yourself inside a house, with tablets to sleep - the voices would soon start. Every single inch of your body would be crawling with sweat and ache, your mind a single evil voice that only whispers one thought: heroin. The thing with being dope sick is that it increases strength as the hours pass, there is no immediate reward to spending a day in off the streets - if anything you feel totally stupid for believing it was ever going to be this easy. Many times I tried this - especially when there was a police crackdown on my 'strip' and I knew the risk of getting caught and put in the clink was very real. This meant rapid and horrible detox - getting a criminal record was just an unfortunate side effect. I've never had the threat of a killer on the loose but I can only imagine what I would do (move towns and work a safer strip, but you would have to hitchike to this place and that would be scarier) I don't know what to do that will actually help.

I've read so many opinions in the last few days about what can be done and not a lot of informed opinion about the cold, harsh realities of the situation. However, I understand that in order for the benefits of reform to float down to the gutters, we must look for reasoning from above. I am afforded this common sense from being a recovered heroin addict that has fought tooth and nail to be a valued and important member of society. It feels like an exclusive club sometimes and not a lot of people think it is possible to achieve. But I was just like these girls, I was just like them. It has taken years, not months to remedy my thinking, my daily habits, social interactions and my sense of accountabilty and responsibilty. I want this blog to be about how you go about doing this, I believe there is a lesson for everyone to learn. It doesn't matter if you have not had the same experience as me. It might make you inspired by the thought that maybe your life is not so bad after all and whatever needs fixing - can be fixed.

I want to write a letter to the editor of the Ipswich Star which is the newspaper for the area where the girls (and possibly the killer) lives. I want to challenge him(the killer) to consider that he doesnt need to rid the world of these girls, when there is every chance of rehabiltation. I want to challenge his views that these girls mean nothing to world. I want him and the girls to know that no-one deserves to die for a few bad choices. Do you think I should? Should I make this compassionate - when all I want to do is scream and call him stupid. I just don't know.
I've penned a few letters and they are going off to the papers. I have to do something - I feel what happened to me, happened for a reason and perhaps I will always wonder what would have happened if I came forward and put a human face to the concept of rebirth.
He has taken that chance away from five beautiful human souls who for the last few years have fought a demon, much worse than him.

Heroine/girl

I pray for them everynight and I pray they catch him before he kills again.