Fentanyl No More

On August 4, 2013 (I think) I stopped using Fentanyl. It made my arms feel all weird at first, but I really believe that I made the right choice on stopping all narcotics. Even if my back is killing me, even if I have long term withdrawals.

I got a phone call tonight from a friend who had his gall bladder out, and he took the entire bottle of pain killers. No worrying; he's opioid intolerant like me, and the pills were low dose. After throwing up, because of the Acetaminophen in them, and after the hallucinations, he felt high. For a few moments, I wanted to feel that high as well, but I can't do that anymore. I have a life that drugs have no place in anymore. Dennis is completely supportive of me stopping all drug use, even if it means I have to physically suffer for a short period of time.

I also unwillingly gave up coffee. I haven't had a cup since June. I think it was harder to give up than the narcotics. I don't feel any better, I just feel. If that makes sense.

Friday I am going through another cancer treatment. My cancer is in my kidney and it's inoperable. I worry that it has spread and that's why I cannot have it operated on, and why I was given chemotherapy instead of other treatments. I don't like to think about my treatments. They leave me foggy and sleepy. I am offered all sorts of pain killers while I am in treatment, but I refuse them all the time.

I've about had it with Blogger. The paragraphs don't work, the posts repeat themselves in the same frame, I always get some ridiculous captcha that Blogger never recognises when I type it in. Normally, if I get the captcha wrong, Blogger eats my comment. I wish I could keep the same URL and just use WordPress on here. But it doesn't work that way. If I want to keep my URL (and I do!!) I have to use Blogger.

I'm breaking out in a cold sweat now, so I'm going to attempt to go to bed. How are you? Do you have any advice for me about the Blogger problem? Want to wish me well in treatment? Don't be afraid to comment. I love getting comments, and I love interacting with people!

On August 4, 2013 (I think) I stopped using Fentanyl. It made my arms feel all weird at first, but I really believe that I made the right choice on stopping all narcotics. Even if my back is killing me, even if I have long term withdrawals.

I got a phone call tonight from a friend who had his gall bladder out, and he took the entire bottle of pain killers. No worrying; he's opioid intolerant like me, and the pills were low dose. After throwing up, because of the Acetaminophen in them, and after the hallucinations, he felt high. For a few moments, I wanted to feel that high as well, but I can't do that anymore. I have a life that drugs have no place in anymore. Dennis is completely supportive of me stopping all drug use, even if it means I have to physically suffer for a short period of time.

I also unwillingly gave up coffee. I haven't had a cup since June. I think it was harder to give up than the narcotics. I don't feel any better, I just feel. If that makes sense.

Friday I am going through another cancer treatment. My cancer is in my kidney and it's inoperable. I worry that it has spread and that's why I cannot have it operated on, and why I was given chemotherapy instead of other treatments. I don't like to think about my treatments. They leave me foggy and sleepy. I am offered all sorts of pain killers while I am in treatment, but I refuse them all the time.

I've about had it with Blogger. The paragraphs don't work, the posts repeat themselves in the same frame, I always get some ridiculous captcha that Blogger never recognises when I type it in. Normally, if I get the captcha wrong, Blogger eats my comment. I wish I could keep the same URL and just use WordPress on here. But it doesn't work that way. If I want to keep my URL (and I do!!) I have to use Blogger.

I'm breaking out in a cold sweat now, so I'm going to attempt to go to bed. How are you? Do you have any advice for me about the Blogger problem? Want to wish me well in treatment? Don't be afraid to comment. I love getting comments, and I love interacting with people!