Mind Fuckery

For those who are wondering and possibly worried about me, I am fine. I was put on Fentanyl patches that don't do shit for me, but at the same time, I was put on Thorazine for the "hallucinations". I'm not hallucinating. There's a problem with my implants, and I'm hearing things that I am not supposed to be hearing. That's all. I'm still crazy though.

Someone tried to make me feel bad about going out of state for a bone marrow transplant. To them I have to say: Shame on you. Shame on you for telling me that a friend committed suicide, and that it was my writing that caused a fictional class-action suite. Can't you ever communicate with anyone without spreading utter bullshit? Did you think that I wouldn't check up on these things when I was able to? Or were you just trying to keep me sick and in the hospital for as long as possible? Neither plan worked, but I was amused for a little while.

For anyone confused: I was "informed" while I was isolated in the hospital that a class action suite was won by Krystole over something that had been copied and pasted from my blog to her ED profile (something about her dropping out of high school and living off her mom while using the internet for picking up sex partners), and I was going to be prosecuted because I was the original author of the writing that caused ED to be removed from the web. I was also, apparently, being sued by the thousands of others who liked the website. What. Complete. Bullshit. The person who made that up must think that I'm a total idiot and would fall for it. I've yet to see a single piece of paper stating that I'm being legally punished for breaking any law. The second round of communication was that a good friend of mine committed suicide while I was away. I don't take that shit very lightly. What kind of a sicko makes light of suicide? Of anyone dying? Makes me wonder if all the bad luck and deaths that befall on this person is "real" or part of their illusions.

For the record, the thought of my friend dying really upset me. I cried many hours over this. I lost my voice because I cried so much. I beat myself up for never telling them that I loved them, or because I never got to say goodbye. It fucked with my mind for a long time. But now I know that's all it was: A mind fuck.

For those who are wondering and possibly worried about me, I am fine. I was put on Fentanyl patches that don't do shit for me, but at the same time, I was put on Thorazine for the "hallucinations". I'm not hallucinating. There's a problem with my implants, and I'm hearing things that I am not supposed to be hearing. That's all. I'm still crazy though.

Someone tried to make me feel bad about going out of state for a bone marrow transplant. To them I have to say: Shame on you. Shame on you for telling me that a friend committed suicide, and that it was my writing that caused a fictional class-action suite. Can't you ever communicate with anyone without spreading utter bullshit? Did you think that I wouldn't check up on these things when I was able to? Or were you just trying to keep me sick and in the hospital for as long as possible? Neither plan worked, but I was amused for a little while.

For anyone confused: I was "informed" while I was isolated in the hospital that a class action suite was won by Krystole over something that had been copied and pasted from my blog to her ED profile (something about her dropping out of high school and living off her mom while using the internet for picking up sex partners), and I was going to be prosecuted because I was the original author of the writing that caused ED to be removed from the web. I was also, apparently, being sued by the thousands of others who liked the website. What. Complete. Bullshit. The person who made that up must think that I'm a total idiot and would fall for it. I've yet to see a single piece of paper stating that I'm being legally punished for breaking any law. The second round of communication was that a good friend of mine committed suicide while I was away. I don't take that shit very lightly. What kind of a sicko makes light of suicide? Of anyone dying? Makes me wonder if all the bad luck and deaths that befall on this person is "real" or part of their illusions.

For the record, the thought of my friend dying really upset me. I cried many hours over this. I lost my voice because I cried so much. I beat myself up for never telling them that I loved them, or because I never got to say goodbye. It fucked with my mind for a long time. But now I know that's all it was: A mind fuck.