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Wednesday, May 11, 2011

No More

No more of that "ask me anything" shit for a while. It just sucks away at a blog that could be better spent waxing poetic about the sunsets or stars after a rainfall. Really. 46 posts in three months and I feel that I could have done so much better.

I have to talk myself into getting well. Getting better. Tonight. Now. I have to talk myself into finishing the night and trying to sleep well without stimulation tonight. Maybe I'm fighting a losing battle here. I've already lost myself in my medications. After all, who cares? Who cares that I have gone through a month's supply in two weeks? Who cares if they're heavy narcotics and I abuse the shit out of them? It's not like anyone would really benefit from my death, but at the same time, they wouldn't benefit from my life, either.

Off to the warm bed with me. My dildos await.
No more of that "ask me anything" shit for a while. It just sucks away at a blog that could be better spent waxing poetic about the sunsets or stars after a rainfall. Really. 46 posts in three months and I feel that I could have done so much better.

I have to talk myself into getting well. Getting better. Tonight. Now. I have to talk myself into finishing the night and trying to sleep well without stimulation tonight. Maybe I'm fighting a losing battle here. I've already lost myself in my medications. After all, who cares? Who cares that I have gone through a month's supply in two weeks? Who cares if they're heavy narcotics and I abuse the shit out of them? It's not like anyone would really benefit from my death, but at the same time, they wouldn't benefit from my life, either.

Off to the warm bed with me. My dildos await.

1 comments:

The horse lawyer said...

You can do much better than that formspring stuff. I've seen your writing talent. This entry, in which you sound miserable (hugs to you from across the pond, BTW) shows you being open again, and actually writing from the heart. Thank you for that.
Feel better soon, if you can.

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